nevvzealand: thinking about my homework is probably as far as im gonna get with it
jombre: rowling-in-the-deep: sirius black? i think you mean sirius african american african european you dumb racist shit
that-nerdfighter: arisonas: ugh. where’s all the GOOD music these days. it’s all just rapping and beibers and directions. i miss the days where i could go into the local tavern and hoist a mighty flagon of mead to a jaunty tune on the lute of a young bard only a real 15th century kid will get this
nayx: this game is rated E for everyone, except you. get out
captainmoi: George R.R. Martin can’t tweet because he’s killed off all 140 characters
skate-high: To me, songs are kind of like bookmarks. Have you ever listened to a song that you haven’t heard in a while, and all of a sudden, all the memories of that time period come back, and you remember what your life used to be like. They’re like milestones in your life.
misjudgments: I don’t get how some girls who get their pictures taken while laughing still look good. I look like a motherfucking horse.
17yr: this baby was drinking from a straw and tilted her cup upside down and it spilled all over her and i was thinking “what a fucking idiot” and then i realized its a baby and im just a terrible person
ghosteh13: voice-of-tartarus: demeaniac: what if with our first clot of air when we are born we inhale a soul, and every time we breathe out, we squeeze a tiny part of our souls out. would our final breath actually be the very last soul fragment leaving our bodies? Woah woah wait you know those things that say “you become like the 5 people you hang out with the most” that would explain...
abarestorytotell: if you think i’m ugly now you should have seen me in 2009
kylesbogusjourney: activatewindows: kylesbogusjourney: WHAT IF MY COLORS ARE DIFFERENT THAN YOUR COLORS They are, because people having varying numbers of Rods and cones in their eyes, it causes people to see colours differently. Also there is a theory that everyone sees, for example, the colour red differently eg Red=yellow, but because we’ve been taught that, that specific colour is...
whisk-ey: If you want to call a family meeting just turn off the wifi router and wait in the room in which it is located.
turtwink: yabba dabba done with ur shit
ofsherlock: i hate how you’re just born out of nowhere and you’re forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job like what if i wanted to be a duck
crapuccinos: i am like a hexagon all my hecks r gone
likeslothstoflames: hey remember that time i got grounded because i saw my dads girlfriend in the car and then saw my dad putting the dog in the back of the car and asked why he was bringing both the dogs with us
tardisity: The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
teenager: It’s unbelievable how many problems go away by simply ignoring them and going to sleep.
fefarielle: don’t ever take me on a date to an aquarium because i will ignore you and spend the whole time looking at the fish
whatsanialler: how am i supposed to get a boyfriend i cant even get anons
harrypottersmum: I wish Professor McGonagall ended all her classes by snapping her fingers, saying “McGonagone” then strutting out.
bluewriters: hacheload: cronusempire: steven-moffat: grim-bark-tier: lordwhat: There should be a show called “You’ll Never Find Out” where each week there’s a new story with a new set of characters and it always ends on a cliffhanger. Well hello there satan NO BUT THEN IN THE SEASON FINALE THEY HAVE LIKE 3 MINUTE SPOTS TO SHOW THE CONCLUSIONS FOR ALL THE STORIES AND PLOT...
mrslokilaufeyson: Prayer circle that all the negotiations for the Avengers 2 work out and we get all the actors back
at least when you are hanging out with yourself, you get to pick the music
gods-nipples: what if instead of pubes you had feathers
geometricdeathtrap: metallikato: generallegendary: metallikato: jewelstaites: how to give a good handjob bop it pull it twist it harder better faster stronger You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about! Cha cha real smooth none of you ever touch a penis
yourbones: somegirlnamedkaitlyn: My dog understands the word “No,” so how are you going to tell me teenage boys don’t know the difference between rape and consent? Nailed it.
breathe-here: burritwo: adrians: a-creepy-weirdo-has: adrians: I had 3 stitches in my ear today and now my ear is swollen like a balloon I’m not being racist but if you didnt want your ear to swell up you probably shouldn’t have gotten stitches. how is that racist they just said they weren’t being racist do you even listen obviously not because their ear is swollen
thats-slightly-raven: My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard. GRAVEyard hahaha enjoy that cyanide milkshake you piece of shit.
Cosmo Tip #455
menluda: When he asks if you’re in the mood, look him straight in the eye for a moment and then say “Bitch, I might be.”
imgonnamakeachange: roseisreturning: mermaids don’t have thigh gaps but they can still lure men to their deaths omg the perfection of this post